John Chard
Oct 8, 2015
Swankers and Slashers! OK! It should be noted that the finished film is not the film that director Michael Armstrong set out to make. Pretty much taken away from him in the writing department by the producer (Deke Heyward), and on the directing front by Gerry Levy, the garbled mess that is this film should not be held against the talented Armstrong. A bunch of young adults in swanky London get bored at a friend's house party and decide to move on to a nearby derelict house that is rumoured to be haunted. When one of them is found murdered, panic, mistrust and bad decision making ensue... Well, a third of the film passes before the group get to the supposed haunted house of the title. Up till then we are introduced to an intriguing stalker sub-plot and an introduction to the youngsters and their way of life. Sadly, what transpires is that the stalker angle proves to be pointless, and that the house is not haunted or indeed very horrific! In fact it's quite a funky old house. The characters just mope about and nothing much really happens, when the blood comes it just isn't enough to fulfil the patience that has been asked of the viewers. Cast are run of the mill, with Frankie Avalon badly out of place and Dennis Price as a police detective wandering in to proceedings for the easiest pay check he ever made. As a period piece it soars. The fashions, all paisley shirts, flares, mini skirts and kipper ties, are wonderfully garish, as is the colour schemes and decoration of the houses (woodchip wallpaper - oh my!). The cars, also, are a treat for nostalgists interested in a Britain that time forgot. While in the play some will note and enjoy the phallic symbolisms and attempts at guignol malarkey. But ultimately it's a poor film, and annoying because there are hits of what might have been. From the boring first third to the daft finale, this is another Tigon production that smells off. 4/10
