Wuchak
Sep 18, 2022
**Creative & zany cult horror comedy combined with 80’s pop rock music videos** An up-and-coming rock band in SoCal does some live gigs to impress a record company agent, but is warned by a winsome girl to stay away from her ultra-conservative village, which is the next town on their schedule. Horror ensues. E.J. Curse plays the front man, Jessie. “Hard Rock Zombies” (1985) is a madcap horror comedy with a lot of early 80’s pop rock by Paul Sabu and a kinetic, but slapdash tone akin to music videos of the time period. It's intentionally ridiculous yet the first half is genuinely funny with several laugh-out-loud scenes, not to mention a great twist (I’m talking about something linked to the Nazi element). The second half isn't as effective, since it only has a few amusing bits, but it features the two best songs on the soundtrack: The heavy & haunting chant-like "Morte Ascendere" and the rockin' "Street Angel.” The rest of the songs are too pop-oriented for my tastes, but they’re fun and fit the whacky, eccentric air. Being a zany cult flick with music video editing, don’t expect anything like “Trick or Treat” (1986), “Shock ’Em Dead” (1991), "Black Roses" (1988) or “Rocktober Blood” (1984). This is a whole different animal. It throws in everything but the kitchen sink—rock stars, groupies, crazy editing, lotsa music, the proverbial hot blonde (Lisa Toothman), monstrous midgets, a werewolf grandmother in a wheel chair, redneck yokels and freakin’ Nazis. It’s a meshing of “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” (1970) with campy non-horror and pop rock vids. Some call it “the worst film ever made” or “an Ed Wood movie if he were around in the 80s,” but it’s too enthusiastic and entertaining to be denounced like this. If you roll with it rather than against it, the flick gives you a good time. Because of the front man’s attraction to Cassie, some critics have accused the film of having “pedophilia overtones,” but they evidently don’t know what pedophilia means. Pedophilia is sexual interest in children whereas hebephilia is attraction to pubescent youths who are in early adolescence (11-14) and ephebophilia is attraction to teens in later adolescence (15-19). Since Cassie appears to be about 15-16, the front man would be an ephebophile, not a pedophile. In short, the girl’s definitely jailbait, but Jessie’s interest in her doesn’t make him a “pedophile.” The movie runs 1 hour, 37 minutes, and was shot at The Rindge House and other parts of the Los Angeles area. GRADE: B-/C+
